Almost a Year Update

It’s been a WHILE since I posted an entry here! I appreciate those who have reached out to say they really enjoy reading my blogs and just to check in with how things are going 🙂 It’s really encouraging to hear how God can use small entries such as these to speak to people in all seasons of life! It’s coming up on ONE year since we left our NC home to embark on our journey of sabbath, healing and discovery. When I came to Taiwan last year, I hoped to post blogs regularly, mainly to keep myself accountable for intentional self-reflections and processing. However, things got so difficult that I had to give myself permission to take a break from writing.😞😞😞 Thanks for your patience and understanding!

Here is an update for last year: 

In summary, Jeff and I underestimated how long it would take to adjust to a new environment across the world. Just in the span of four months, Jeff contracted COVID twice, common colds multiple times, and made a trip to the ER. On top of that, we found out our previous home church was in shambles (which was reaaally hard on us emotionally), it was also hard adjusting living in a small space with my parents, then we ran into unexpected visa problems to stay in Taiwan… All of which set us back to settling into a rhythm of life here.😓😓

Have you ever been in the ocean when the waves were so rough that you found yourself gasping for air constantly but the waves just kept coming relentlessly? Each time we thought we got over a hump, barely catching our breaths, another came crashing over. With all the hardships combined, our physical and mental state was at a low. 

With all that was happening at that time, I struggled with my reality not meeting my expectations of what I thought was supposed to be a season of rest and healing. I thought that God had answered all my prayers, paved the way, and provided for us to come to Taiwan. So why were we running into so many obstacles now? Why was our experience so tiring, opposite from what we expected? Should we just give up and go back home? Why did God bring us here just to let us down? It took a while for me to see that God was just answering my prayers in unexpected ways.

As people have said, "be careful what you pray for.." because if you pray for patience, you will be tested and given chances to practice patience, and if you pray for faith, sometimes you will be given opportunities to step into that faith 😂

Before going to Taiwan, one of my prayers was "to go with Jesus to the deep waters and to trust him even when I have no idea what the future holds", leaving the comfort of my home and trusting that God will lead me in the future. Throughout all the hurdles, I found myself praying and asking, when my future seems foggy, when I am unsure of God’s will and plan for my future, will I still trust Him to take me step by step and live day by day? Will I trust that he will give me my daily bread?

I won’t deny that 2023 was one of the hardest years of my life, I also can't deny that God answered my biggest prayer. I went into the deep waters, waters where I would have never chosen to go on my own. But I trusted God in ways I've never done, and I found that in these waters, God was the one who held my head up. He was the one giving me just enough strength to keep going. I was never alone.

When I felt depressed and exhausted, God gave me words of comfort, joy and faith.

When I felt depleted, God gave my spouse just enough strength to encourage me to keep on.

When Jeff felt helpless, God gave me a boost of energy to keep caring for him.

God gave my parents unconditional love to care for us when we fell sick again and again.

When we both felt like we couldn’t handle anymore life curveballs, God kept showing up, encouraging us through people or God’s word and spoke into our exact situations.

Without faith, some might say these are coincidences, but with faith, I know that I have an almighty and caring God behind me every step of the way. 

2023 was so difficult, but it is also undeniable that it was filled with joy that coincided with hardships. The joy of knowing that I have a God who cares and provides for me, a God who will always come through faithfully even when my faith is small, is a joy that surpasses any pleasures I’ve ever experienced. This joy also carried me through any hardships that came my way. 

In this season of lent, I am reflecting on the past year, but I am also reflecting on the reality of darkness and suffering in our world. Wars, sickness, death, loss, grief, injustice, abuse, despair. Churches who give Jesus a bad name, those who are supposed to love you hurt you, it's all too much to bear. Especially when you care too much. Sometimes I find myself too tired to go on. 

But then I remember that I am not meant to bear it alone. This Lent, I celebrate the God who came amidst us and experienced all darkness, so we can continue to face it with the almighty and loving God.

Recently God comforted me through the story of Ruth the Moabite. This story is situated during the time of Judges, a time when the people of God experienced extreme darkness, chaos, evil, and despair. Yet, in the midst of these dark times, God gives us the story of Ruth, in which God shows us that God is present in the lives of individuals, in the little details of ordinary people, providing in ways more than we can imagine. This is the God who will continue to show up.

That’s it for updates on 2023. Above is my re-entry blog 😝, but I have so much more to share! Coming towards Easter 2024, I am excited to say that this year has been a very different change in pace. I am excited to write more and share what God has taught me thus far! But seeing as it's not quite Easter yet, stay tuned :)